Still Riding the Rollercoaster...

This morning was E's first solo swimming lesson, since she turned 3 yesterday. She has been wanting to go in the pool since she first saw H in her class. Of course this morning she decided she did not want to go. That is her nature. I convinced her that we would just go and watch. Once we got there the instructor was able to lure her in, and she had a great time. Of course the entire time I was watching her, I was thinking about how much her dad was looking forward to this first lesson, how much he wanted to watch her. That put me in a bit of a meloncholy mood, and as I was driving through town to meet K for lunch, I noticed every landmark, every store we have shopped in, and every restaurant we have eaten in over the last 20 years. We met 4 days after I moved to Chico. We were 18. Every memory of my adult life involves him, every memory of my life life in Chico includes him. I had a hard time at lunch today, all of the thoughts circling in my head. After lunch (yes R, I am eating) I went to the hospital to spend some time with him. I read to him from our book, but I think we were both a little tired today. I got out the picture of the girls and held it for him, and we just looked at it, and I told him all about E's lesson today. I got a little half smile. Later I gave him a shave, and we had some visitors. His cousin was in the room talking about some of their childhood exploits, when he lifted his right arm off of the bed about 8 inches, seemingly in some kind of gesture. That was new. He has not done that yet. Later, I was relaying this to K, and how this roller coaster just seems to keep going and going, up and down.. She said " well at least the ride is still moving". Yes that is right. They say that life is all about the ride. It is not the beginning or the end, but the journey.