Navigating a sea of uncertainty....

I have been thinking alot about the uncertainty of life, and am trying to accept the things that I cannot know or change right now. It does not help that I feel like I have a giant glow in the dark, karmic bulls eye on my head. Delegate, delegate, delegate, everyone tells you. The problem with that theory, is that it is just that to everyone else. Theory. It IS my life, the lives of my children and the husband who is relying on me to make the right decisions for him. I got an attorney to handle those things for me, hoping that would be a part of all of this that I would not have to worry about each day, but still I have to monitor and police those activities or things start to slide. I cannot afford to let those things slide, we are on borrowed time as it is, one thing dependant upon another. I have entrusted other professionals to give me advice and guide me down the right path, and one thing became abundantly clear. I am alone in this. I have to be my constant advocate. I have to ask the right questions, even when I do not know what they are. When I do ask the questions, they do not know the answers, say they will get back to me and then do not. People want to help, but without being in this position, they have no idea of the enormity of this weight. Oh I am sure they go home at night and feel badly for us, maybe even pray or hope things turn around, but then they go about their day, their lives, and their jobs. We do not have that luxury. Our entire lives hang in the balance, and I am at the mercy of others. It is a very uncomfortable place to be. There is no manual for this situation. No one handed me a syllabus. I fear more what I do not know, rather than what I do know.