Red Alert.....

This has been a crazy week. They all are it seems. Maybe that is just to be the way of our life for awhile longer. I finally got the long anticipated signed agreement to send him to Kentfield. Which was a huge relief, but it put us on red alert. Red alert because he is moving as soon as they have a bed available. I got the call on Monday that a bed might be available Wednesday and to be prepared in case. I frantically ran around trying to get all of my ducks in a row, while maintaining the girls regular schedule. S came up to stay with me for a couple of days so that I could get all of my orders out and the all the details worked out for the girls.I packed a bag and put it in the truck, much like when I was pregnant. The bag packed, waiting for the call. Ready to go at a moments notice. Of course when Wednesday rolls around, the bed is not available so he is not moving yet. The bag is still in the truck. When I spoke to the NCM she did not think it would be until the beginning of next week now that it is a holiday weekend. So I switched gears again, and kept to my original plan for Easter weekend. We came over to the coast with K & C. It was where we spent last Easter and several before that. I made sure the NCM had my contact information so that if anything changes, I can go off to Kentfield from here and meet up with him there. But for now we are here relaxing, remaining on red alert, but trying to give the girls a memory. A good memory. We are in a different place this year, as the memories are strong, and he is everywhere with us. The girls have been excited, wanting to come over, but still when I picked up H from school, after the big grins, there was a silence. H said "I really want to go to the beach, but it won't be the same without Daddy." No it won't, I agreed. He leaves such a big void, it hard not to step in it. You turn around and it is there. He makes everything fun, finds humor in everything. His mind is always working, it is hard to believe that it might not be working for him now. That he is not thinking ahead, trying to find his intro. We are here and he is there, and we miss him. It is good to be here, good to be away. It is raining and misty in the redwoods but we are all here together, playing games, kids piled up watching movies, cooking good food and enjoying each others company. I know this is where he would want us to be. We miss him, we are waiting. We are still on red alert...anytime now.