39 forever.....

39 forever, isn't that how the saying goes? Yesterday was his 39th birthday. The girls didn't know. We were home with our usual routine, but my mind was with him all day. I decided not to tell the girls, as I felt it would only make them sad. We celebrated his birthday with them at the BBQ after the triathlon. That was a good day, full of celebration, a party, cake, and laughter. They knew that it was a birthday and get well party for daddy. I wanted them to think of that day. I thought of the last 20 birthdays we have spent together beginning with his 19th birthday, just a couple weeks after we first met. I can still remember what I gave him, red licorice, mad magazine, liquid starch (for his ROTC uniforms) and a card. The first two would probably still be in his birthday package today, he gave up on starch and ironing years ago. His mother took a cake in for the nurses, and I understand they all sang "Happy Birthday" to him. D & R were there, and his aunt, and I understand a few other visitors stopped by as well. D told me that he said "Mom" to his mother, and made some other sounds, but was otherwise quiet. His birthday also marks the third month. Three months since our lives were irrevocably altered. Three months since I have heard that deep belly laugh, 3 months since I have seen the face splitting grin. Three months since I have lain down in my bed at night and felt a warm arm curl around me, and a whiskery cheek brush the back of my neck. Three months since I have gotten a 5 o'clock phone call to tell me he is on his way home from work (or that he is working late). Three months since I have been taking out the garbage, and have had to yell at him to turn off the alarm that he is sleeping through. Three months that I have been both mom and dad to the girls. He is 39 and it has only been three months but it seems like forever...