When it rains....it pours......

It seems that I have more lessons to learn. My life is not destined to be a smooth path for sometime. I was just trying to plan out my last weeks of summer, to make the best choices for him, for the girls, for us as a family, when another curve ball landed in my lap. K went into the hospital. She is never sick. She is my rock. She was in the hospital for 8 days, right across the hall from where he had been. The first time I came flying out of the elevator, it was like it had opened a window to my past. She is out and better now, but as I was gaining strength again, it took me back to feeling vulnerable. She is the one here who has been with me longer than him. It was humbling, again. I was fortunate that S had come to stay and help me with some projects at home, because she was able to stay with the girls and let me go to the hospital. When I saw her walk out of there, I was much relieved. I had already been planning to take her girls and mine to Portland to visit his sisters, and we decided to continue with the plan. As we were on our way, I got the news that he was being transferred two weeks early. While we were to be gone. They changed the plan again. I understand why they did it, but I am not mentally prepared to deal with sudden change right now. I need time to adapt the plan. I need time to get used to any changes, to figure out how the change is going to affect every other piece of the plan. I knew that his time would be up at the beginning of August and that it would be time to move him back closer to home. That was the plan. They decided to move him for a month to a transitional care facility that DrD still works with so that she can continue to monitor his progress for a little longer and then after a month, another evaluation to decide on the next step. He will continue with his drug therapy and to receive 15 hours of therapy per week, in hopes of seeing more improvements. I want him to be in the best place for him, but I am also getting frayed. I have alot of balls in the air and my arms are getting tired from juggling. K made me promise after her hospital stay, that I would take care of myself. A task that should be second nature but seems like another burden to juggle. I promised. I am trying. I just don't know how many more balls I can keep in the air at a time. I am struggling to find a balance. It just seems that when it rains, it pours.