Disneyland Dad....

Everyone knows how much and how hard he worked. He loves that job. Loves it. I have always had people ask me how I could deal with it. How I could do it with him gone so much. Gone at odd hours, for days, weekends, birthdays, holidays.... and then when he was with us, checking out license plates as we are driving down the road, calling T to talk about a case, talking to victims on the phone on his days off....Before we had kids, it suited me just fine. As anyone can attest to, he has more energy than 10 people, and I could never keep up with him. Or entertain him. He needed the frantic pace and the constantly changing influx of information, it is what drove him and made him thrive. I am a loner. Always have been. I am content to be quiet. To sit and read, to be by myself with my thoughts. I could go all day without talking to anyone and I would be fine. I like it when the house is quiet. Before children I would often stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning and sleep later into the morning just so I could enjoy the quiet of the night. I would do my house cleaning, my latest projects and my reading in those quiet hours. After children, sleep and the elusive quiet were the things that I mostly only dreamed of. But he also always understood this about me and he would make time to take the girls out and leave me in the house to enjoy my quiet. He would call himself Disneyland Dad, because he would plan an entire weekend of activities and not be afraid to grab the girls and go from sun up to sun down. He might start off with a 6 am fun run, pushing the jog stroller, then he would be off to the park, then to a street faire, off to ice cream, back to town for the next roller skating session. Inevitably he would drop by the sub to check his e-mail or drop something off, and the girls would have fun entertaining daddy's friends. If there was a matinee at the movies, they would surely be off there next, then off to try a new park and see if they could find any geo caches, probably run by Walmart for some things he had been meaning to pick up. They were busy. He was 100% on when he was there. He encouraged me to have time for myself and enjoy it without feeling guilty. I remember the first time he got to hold H after her birth ordeal. Brain surgery at 6 days old. Days in the incubator (or aquarium as he called it), it was a scary time. A time many people would be nervous to even contemplate more children. But he held her in his hands slightly bouncing her up and down, she looked back at him with her identical green eyes and he looked over at me and said "I want more of these!" I would have to say that fatherhood changed him. He went from student of life to teacher of life and he has always relished it. Before he wanted to ski the slopes, dive in the ocean, go on hikes and runs, roller skate and play on the beach. Since they were born he wants to do those same things but at their pace, wants to experience them through their eyes. They have experienced many things with him. With their Disneyland Dad.