Transition..

He moved yesterday to the transitional care unit downstairs. What does that mean? It means his body has stabilized. His heart is stable, he is breathing completely on his own (hopefully the trach out next week). He doesn't need to be watched over so carefully. He doesn't need to be hooked up to monitors and Iv's. He needs therapy. He needs to respond to his therapy. This is the best opportunity for him. He is close to the gym and therapy room. They get him up several times a day and try new things with him each day. They even take him to the dining room when he has his milkshake. He is doing better with his sleep schedule. He is more alert in the day. These are all good things. Baby steps. Each day comes so quickly, it is amazing that another week is almost over. The girls start school the week after next. H in kindergarten and E in preschool. We are getting ready, backpacks have been chosen. Disney princesses for H and Dora for E. It is a time of transition for all of us. New schedules, environments and expectations. Transition. Tran-si-tion: 1. passage from one place, form, state or style to another. 2. Change.

Location, Location, Location!

I was asked to post a quick update about the BBQ.

"Due to the overwhelming response from the community we are changing the location of the lunch fundraiser to the North Forebay, in Oroville. It is the same exit as BCSO off hwy 70. Everyone will see it from the highway. ..... We are doing a "will call" section at the ticket table., for out of town people who have purchased tickets and want to pick them up the day of the BBQ. This way we have a head count to purchase the food. "

Thank you all so much. Your generosity is unmeasurable. It makes his whole family feel good and close to him, when we see how much he is thought of by all of you. It is simply humbling.

Lost Footage!

We are down to a month before the triathlon! Our wonderful friends are planning a BBQ after the triathlon for all of you who are planning to join us. (more details to follow) I have been walking, but have to do a whole lot more before the big day. It is a good thing I can get him up in the chair now, so we can do laps in the hallway, I like to think of it as my own personal training sessions. K recently dug up our old Olympic training video and forwarded it to me. We sadly did not make it to the competition. The video was prepared and filmed by S, I hope that one day we can try for the gold! It is good to smile, you know he always does. Enjoy.
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/FRWZyDVR8oX9l7riSrdW

Finally some routine..

After we got his milkshake straightened out, we were able to work on his sleep schedule, and that seems to be on track as well. He is now sleeping at night and alert during the day, so we are hoping there will be no more snoring in physical therapy. It will be up to him if he wants to cooperate, but it feels positive to at least give him the tools to be able to participate. They will be moving him to a different area in the same hospital, because he needs less supervision than he did when he first came in. We are able to get him up several times a day and even have been taking him outside. They have a small intimate park setting at the edge of the grounds, and I took him out there on Sunday afternoon. It was quiet, just the two of us. It is surrounded by trees and even has a little creek surrounded by berry bushes. I showed him the berries just turning black, the leaves on the trees and vines climbing the arbor behind us. We listened to the water in the little creek, and I tickled him with pine needles found on the ground. I put his feet on the grass and nudged them with my own bare feet so that he could feel the grass move underfoot. We sat out in the fresh air for an hour and a half, me telling him of all the things the girls have been up to, and about getting ready for school to start. H is starting kindergarten and E preschool. He sat in his chair alert and I think listening, wearing a cap I found in the truck and his sunglasses. It felt like a good day, a day like many others we have had. Only this time I was doing the talking and he was doing the listening. Everything has changed, and yet there is still some familiar sameness. It may not be what I have envisioned for my Sunday afternoons, but we were alone, in a quiet beautiful place, feeling the sun on our faces. I got to talk and tell him about our week, and he was quiet and listened. He never even interrupted. What more could a girl ask for?

Thank you again.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to the Chase Bank benevolent fund set up by the DSA. They brought me another check this weekend from the fund. I really appreciate all who have made those contributions, it has helped us tremendously. You all have paid for our gas, and meals, and made it so there was one less thing to worry about. I really appreciate everyone for their generosity. I tell him every day about it, and hope that it sets his mind at ease that he does not have to worry about us right now. Thank you for my peace of mind, and for his.

In Sickness and in Health....

When I think of those words, I do not think of this time now, of anything I am giving to him, but instead I think of all the times that he has been there for me. I think of the worst times in our life and how I have always depended upon him, how he has always been there. I think of the two miscarriages before having H, the physical and emotional trauma, and how he was there. Right there giving to me, being there for me completely, grieving himself, but never letting it get in the way of his encompassing support of me. I think of the birth of H, how he was right there, the first time I saw her was in his arms. The look of complete love on his face. I think of finding out that she had to go to Davis, and that I had to remain in the hospital here. He thought nothing of having to pack up and follow his baby, knowing that he would have all of the responsibility himself down there. He just packed up and went. He would set his alarm for every time she needed to be fed and he would get up and rush over so he could be the one to do it. He would take her temperature and change her little diapers while she was there in the NICU. He knew all of the nurses, they all knew him. He threw himself into the process and made the best of it. He took care of me, he took care of his baby. When we had the third miscarriage before having E, it was by far the hardest and most physically traumatic. He was there with me through it all, giving to me, letting me grieve, and taking care of both H and I. He told me that we were enough for him. If we could not have more, it was OK, his plate and heart were full. When we decided to try one last time, we knew that it would be hard. It was unknown. Unknown to us, unknown to the doctors, but he never wavered. Every Monday of my pregnancy with E, I would go to the infusion center and I had a 7 hour infusion. He took H and planned adventures for them. They would go roller skating, or for walks in the park, geo caching or out for an ice cream. And when E finally came, there was no prouder dad. Again he was right there while they put me out. He has gotten to witness the birth of both of his daughters while I did not. Something special he shares with them. I think that only makes him prouder. When I think about the best and the worst days of my life, one thing is constant. Him. He has always been there, in sickness and in health.

Rest...

It has been a rough couple of days. He had a rough couple of days. He is doing better now. He was having some trouble with his "milkshake". It was not agreeing with him. Since he can't tell us right now what is bothering him, it took us a couple of days to figure out what it was. He is finally resting more comfortably now. It is always difficult to see someone you love in distress. It is hard to watch the pain wash over their face and be powerless to stop it, much less even identify it. And it is an immense relief when it subsides. I spent almost three hours, alternately trying to comfort him, and trying to find the source of the pain. He seems so much better now. He celebrated his relief with a nap, and I took advantage of the time to shave him. He is sporting a nice goatee now, he will be worried when he wakes up, as his uniform code requires no facial hair below the corners of his mouth. I think he will forgive me. The rest of the afternoon was quiet, but reassuringly so. He napped and I just watched the calm wash over his face. K popped in for a visit and tried to tease him, he seemed to watch her for a time, but after she left he went back to napping. I let him rest until it was time for me to head back home. I grabbed the girls and we made it home for baths and bedtime. They were very excited after a busy day of water fun. Our friend S has come to stay with us for a few days, and the girls are so excited to have her to themselves. They have planned picnics and tea parties, and I have planned yard work and a few fix it projects. It is good to be home. Good to sleep in my own bed tonight. I have his pillow next to me, it's case still unchanged. It smells like him, it smells like home. I will sleep well tonight.....