A Quick Reminder..

So many people have said that they are planning to come to the BBQ. Thank you all so much for the wonderful support. I want to remind everyone that today is the last day to reserve tickets. The response has been so wonderful, they need to have a final head count to be able to provide lunch to everyone. Thank you.

A day of Reckoning

In the warm light of day, H told me again that she wanted to see him. I said OK. I had spent most of the night thinking about that meeting and how it should take place. I took her aside and tried to tell her what to expect. I talked about the hospital, the exercises, his chair, his bed, his room, everything I could think of to make her more comfortable. She has known that he is in a "deep sleep" and I did not want her to be surprised by seeing him look around, or make noise, and I tried to prepare her as best as I could. I explained that while most of Daddy was still sleeping, some parts were trying to wake up. His eyes are waking up and can look around, his feet are very ticklish, but his brain is still sleeping and he cannot talk or walk. She looked at me and asked "Like Prince Wesley?" Prince Wesley? Prince Wesley? Who is Prince Wesley, I ask her? She says "from the play" I think back to the play we had seen not long before this happened. The Princess Bride. Of course she would make sense of it in her own mind. The Princess Bride, I am amazed at how their little minds work. Yes just like Prince Wesley, I tell her. She seems to accept this. I speak to D and ask her to help me make this go as easily as possible. We decide I will go to the hospital and get him ready for his big visit, and that she will wait an hour or so and then bring H over to meet me there. It all goes just as planned. I take her little hand and show her how to sign in and get a sticker, and we talk about everything we pass in the halls. I show her the dining room and the gym, and point out the little park outside. I tell her that he will be in a chair, and that we can take him outside. As we get closer I can see the excitement and nervousness on her face. When we get to the doorway, she peers in, then trots over to him. She wants to know about everything, the trach (it was still in at the time) , his chair, his room, where all her pictures are (covering one whole wall) but mostly why he has a beard. Yes that is her most concerning question. After I tell her that I have to shave him because his hands are still sleeping, she seems to accept it.I ask her if she has any questions about the trach, "his necklace?" she asks. His necklace, no questions about the necklace, just still puzzled by the beard. She is a little nervous, but happy to be there. I show her that he is watching her, I tell her she can hold his hand. She talks to him in her sweet girlish chatter. She is still a little nervous. She admires the wall of her prolific artwork, and comments on her pictures posted on the opposite wall. I tell her that we can take him outside to the park area, and she offers to help me push his chair. Side by side we push him down the hall and out to the park, her chattering all the way. When we get to the entrance of the park, I ask her where she thinks he would like to sit, and she chooses the arbor , so we push him under the canopy of vines and she tells him about the leaves and the flowers and the squirrel she sees running about. She runs off with D (who has stayed quietly in the background in case I need help with one or the other of them, thank you D!) to look at the berries growing around the edge of the park. I talk to him quietly as we watch our daughter, our oldest child running in the grass, as we have watched her so many times before. She is amazing. The light of our lives. She has his spark, his zest, as it is so easy to see as we watch her dancing in the grass. I think of all the times that I have seen him, head bent over a leaf, or prized rock, as excited as she is for the found treasure. I think about these things and my heart aches for him, for us. The pleasure he gets from the little things, how he embraces them, and shows the proper reverence for a five year old's most prized possesions. My heart breaks for him, for her. As I am lost in these thoughts, she runs back to us, bounding up to hug his arm, and says "mommy I want to sit on his lap." I say OK, and help her sit on his leg. She lays her head on his chest and throws her arms across his body, proclaiming "mommy I am hugging him!" I tell her how happy it makes him and how much he loves her. We visit a little longer before taking him back to his room for a rest. Before we leave she kisses him on the cheek and squeezes his arm again. When we get to the car, I ask her how she felt and if she had any questions. She mentions the beard, again. Then she simply says "mommy I love my daddy" I said, "I know baby, so do I." Really what more is there to say.

It was only a matter of time...

I knew that I was on borrowed time. The girls have been amazing. They have been resilient, happy and have kept us all moving forward. I knew it was only a matter of time before more questions would come. He is too much a part of their lives, for them not to feel his absence as greatly as we do. He is the center of their world, of our world. It was only a matter of time before the activities, and visitors could not longer distract them from the elephant in the room. It began an innocent trip for an ice cream cone. When they pulled into the parking lot of the ice cream shop, H stated "my daddy used to bring us here before he got dead." S (who was taking them for ice cream) quickly reassured her that he was not dead, and called to let me know what had happened. When they got back home H was so happy and carefree that I foolishly thought we still might have a little more time. Later that night as I was walking down the hall, I heard muffled sobs coming from their room. I rushed in to to find H sobbing into her pillow. She told me she missed daddy, that she loved him so much. I have kissed many boo-boo's and have soothed many hurt feelings, but this was the first time since I have been a parent, that my child was broken hearted and I was helpless to to do anything about it. I felt eviscerated, impotent, utterly helpless. It was one of the worst moments of my life. I was able to sooth her. To talk to her about him. I showed her a picture, and she was comforted. She told me she hugged her pillow to send him love in his dreams. Tears streamed down my face as I held her little body and reassured her that he is trying his best to get back to us. That he loves them more than anything in the world, and there is nothing in his power that would keep him away from them any longer than he had to be. She was comforted. She said she wanted to hug him, so I gave her his sweatshirt. She has slept with it every night since. She said she was ready to see him, and I said OK.

To Love, Honor, and Cherish...

These are words we are all familiar with, but ones I have been thinking alot about lately. Most people who see or hear that phrase, think they know what it means. I think perhaps they see Love and Cherish, and think they understand it. I think perhaps it is the little thought of "Honor" that is the most powerful of the three. Honor, honorable, honest, they are not unfamiliar words to us but we tend to use them for reverence, rather than for our daily lives. When we get married, we think of how much we love our partner, how much we adore and cherish them. That is what our wedding day is all about, celebrating those things. The honor, I do not think we give as much thought to. What is really means to honor someone. I bring this up because I continue to hear about my "strength". My answer is always the same, I don't see it as strength, I just don't see any other option. When I make this observation, I have had more than one person comment, that certainly there are other options, and the one most chosen seems to be, "you could collapse, breakdown, fall apart, as others do." I reply with no hubris, "I do not view my behavior as strength, but their behavior as weakness." Recently I had someone telling me about a recent break up that they had. I told them that the one thing I know is that it is important to know the person you are with will be there to fight in the trenches with you. If they are not the kind of person who can be there in the worst of times, it is better to find out early. It is easy to be with someone when everything is going well, it is so much harder when you are thrown a curve ball, and you never know when they are coming. I think back to honor. I did and I do. I made that promise. To love, honor, and cherish. The loving and cherish are easy, especially in the good times. The honor, that is more complicated. To honor someone, what does that mean? To me that means, that I behave as he would want me to. As he would expect me to. It means that I take care of things in his absence. That I care for his children as he would wish me to. That I hold to his values and respect them. That I put the pieces of our life together to make the best foundation that I can for the girls. That I keep consistency in their lives as much as possible. To honor him means that I carry on as he would wish me to while he is unable to be with us. It means that I put aside my fears, my tears, and my pain, and I keep calm and carry on. He is an honorable man, and I will continue to honor him. To Love, Honor and Cherish him. I promised.

Silent Auction

A couple of people have posted comments about the silent auction. Please contact Linda Kepley 538-4361 and she should be able to answer any questions you might have.
Thank you

Finally!

The trach is finally out! They took it out yesterday amid very little fanfare. It was good to see. It was wonderful to see. He looks remarkably like himself. There was actually less trauma taking it out than there was when they replaced the whole thing. This means he is down to the feeding tube and cath, but no more monitors, wires or other appliances. He looks so much more comfortable, he looks restful, he looks like himself. I have taken some of his clothes from home and "adapted" them with velcro so they are easier to get on, and he gets the benefit of wearing his familiar favorites. The first day, he was still flinching a little when he coughed but his neck and shoulders seemed so much more relaxed. Today he has started to make much more noise. The girls and I have gone out of town for the weekend to be with our family, and attend my grandfather's memorial. I called MB who has come down to visit him for the weekend and could hear him in the background. He was practicing his vocal sounds. What it means we do not know. It could be he is trying to talk, he could think he is talking, perhaps he likes the vibrations in his throat, or maybe he just likes the sound of his own voice. No matter what it is that is driving it, it is new, it is different. New and different are about as exciting as it gets in our world. The other new thing that happened this week was in physical therapy. They put him up in a standing frame yesterday. It is like a harness in a frame that they put him in and place his feet to see how he tolerates weight on his feet. He is supported but they let his weight rest on his feet. He did very well. I am impressed with all of the new things they are trying, and encourage us to help with as well. We continue to work with the doctors and therapists to put him in the best possible position for recovery. I have said it before and I will say it again.....It is all in his hands. They are good hands.....strong hands.

A Triathlon Update from K

TINMAN UPDATE

For all those interested in the Tinman Triathlon, here is a quick update. You CAN register the day before at the free (for participants) spaghetti dinner. It's just $5 per person for all others who wish to come but not participate in the triathlon (supporters).
If you can't make it to the dinner, you can register at the event. To make day of registration go faster, I suggest downloading the entry form from the Rotary website (www.dunsmuirrotary.org) and filling them out ahead of time. You don't have to do this, but it will speed things up. I recommend pre-registration on-line or by mail, just follow the link above.
TEAM Registration Fees and Dates:
Start Date
End Date
Price
10/01/08 12:00 AM CST
08/10/09 11:59 PM CST
$75.00
08/11/09 12:00 AM CST
08/21/09 11:59 PM CST
$85.00
08/22/09 12:00 AM CST
09/06/09 8:30 AM CST
$95.00
INDIVIDUAL Registration Fees and Dates:
Start Date
End Date
Price
10/01/08 12:00 AM CST
08/10/09 11:59 PM CST
$35.00
08/11/09 12:00 AM CST
08/21/09 11:59 PM CST
$40.00
08/22/09 12:00 AM CST
09/06/09 8:30 AM CST
$45.00

We have two brave souls, Heath Burreson and Chip Cherry, both longtime friends of the family signed up and registered for completing the race solo.
The current registered teams are as follows:
Friends of Eric 1
Kelly Mora, Steve Mora and Grace Mora
Friends of Eric 2
Lesley Christopher, Mary Anne Christopher & Ella Gallego
Friends of Eric 3
Carolina Burreson, Jared Burreson & Audrey Mora
Friends of Eric 4
Bo Cherry, Cora Cherry & Minna Cherry (this is a preteen team!)

We have enough participants to put together three more teams, however I am waiting to make certain there are not any others who need to be paired up before final team selection. PLEASE let me know if you are putting a team together so we can compile a master list of our “Friends of Eric Teams”. We are asking that all teams use the name Friends of Eric #. It will help if I know you are registering so I can keep track of what number each team is assigned. I will also need to know how many ERIC Triathlon shirts and what size is needed for each team. This is not the event shirt included with the Tinman registration but one created just for our “Friends of Eric” Participants. These shirts will be available at the carb loading dinner and the day of the event for $15. *Please also note that if you are unable to make it to the triathlon but would still like a "Friends of Eric" t-shirt, please contact Kelly at skmora@netzero.com and let her know how many and what sizes so she can get them for you. Thanks Scott for the one of a kind art work! With each day we get more excited about the event. The organizers have been very supportive of our group and are excited to share in the celebration of Eric and his strength and will to recover. Anyone entering the Triathlon, Please call Kelly Mora @ (530)824-1111 or e-mail skmora@netzero.com with your team details.


BBQ POTLUCK INFO


TO CELEBRATE OUR TRIATHLON SUCCESS AND ERIC'S BIRTHDAY A BBQ POTLUCK WILL TAKE PLACE ON SUNDAY, SEPT. 6 FROM 12:00pm TO 5:00 pm.
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE TRIATHLON,”CAMP ERIC” WILL MOVE FROM LAKE SISKIYOU TO WHERE THE BBQ WILL BE HOSTED AT THE BURRESON RESIDENCE IN MOUNT SHASTA @ 1225 BEKS LANE.
PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN LAWN CHAIRS, BEVERAGES & A SIDE DISH TO SHARE (green salad, pasta salad, potato salad or fruit).
TRI TIP, CHICKEN, BREAD AND DESSERT WILL BE PROVIDED.
DIRECTIONS FOR BBQ LOCATION: TAKE I-5 NORTH, TAKE CENTRAL MOUNT SHASTA EXIT, MAKE LEFT OVER THE OVERPASS TO STOP SIGN @ NORTH OLD STAGE RD. IN FRONT OF FISH HATCHERY, MAKE A RIGHT ONTO NORTH OLD STAGE, MAKE LEFT ONTO BEKS LANE, GO OVER BRIDGE ARRIVE AT HOUSE.
PLEASE RSVP BY EMAIL skmora@netzero.com OR CALL KELLY @ 530-519-2383.